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by EswenRaedself
on 11/1/16

Rachel Franklin is not awesome sauce!

@EA - Apparently, this sarcastically, humorous, tongue-in-cheek post, along with some serious technical hubris, got me a warning on your forum for the current iteration of The Sims!

As follows and also, apparently, it is against the LBGT-lovers of your company's rules (not that they actually follow anything that does not involve extreme dick sucking, as a sport) to say anything bad or GOSSIP about Ms. Franklin.

Really? Isn't she the Executive Producer of The Sims 4? I would think she'd have thicker skin that this:

This COULD be addressed but, for whatever reason the resident bartender, Rachel "Babs" Franklin has spun with her silly "Glee" minions, it cannot. Well, I call a big fat lie and here is why:

A) The engine that S4 is based on looks a plum of a lot like "The Unreal Engine", which I have in the form of their development kit and, lo and behold, they have such things known as "portal" points. Class, these little ditties are added to a landscape to, wait for it, "portal" your avatar to another location on said landscape, OR, an amazing alternate one! Yes, to be clear, the "point" can actually move your avatar across the vast landscape (no 514 for me, boyos) or even a completely different one that might be REALLY big compared to a 514, for example. Huzzah!

B) I do not believe that Rachel "Babs" has ever 1) Played The Sims before her date of hire; 2) Danced with abandon; 3) Understood one word that any engineer has ever said, not even one; 4) Worn hot pink before her Glee-Fest dance presentation (wildly choreographed like how Taylor Swift fake WOW smiles at the tiniest of things (small pee-pees come to mind)); or, !bada-bum-bum!, 5) Seen a real baby or toddler, and so, does not comprehend what happens when the community, who love to procreate to the tune of uterine trauma, become unbelievably saddened that "Babs" and crew erased TODDLERS! << A Major Life Stage!

The Humanity!

I bought S4 and the drivel that followed. Some prettied up enough to make it interesting. However, it is only interesting for a short time due to the practice, that seems to be commonplace in the EA Sims division these days - object w/a twinge of game play that, at first, appear to be real neat-o until you run through your 4th or 5th pedicure. Since it is not a real one, there is no warm cuddly from overspending on a rather unnecessary personal hygiene routine - one, where a being, who you do not know really well, coddles your tootsies with tools that have likely seen better days in Saigon circa Before The Great Mushroom God bloomed upon our brother Japan.

The loading screens blow. I think that someone, HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED, thought it would be way funny to drive players to insanity by insisting that there are a lot of really smart technical reasons why you all shall suffer, so there, and, also there, and then some.

P.S. I am a world builder and interior designer who torments both The Umbrella Corporation (EA - forget Maxis, I go straight to the meatloaf!) and Bethesda, which shall forever be known as, The Parasol Corporation(!) (because I have been f'n around with Nexus mods and their platforms for ubiquitous reasons, one of which was to buddy-up with some fellas over on their official forum or whatever, and also to take freaky pics in-game so that I am the coolest of all time no matter WHICH game it is - my life goal, don't hate because if you do, I will hate back and then some).

P.plum. Basically, I really enjoy the illegality of a misogynistic video gaming community who mistake hermaphrodites for girls and also, because they continuously surround themselves with these boy-girl things, are not very nice when a tight skirt shimmies by because:

a) They already went hermi
b) They married young and are stuck with Ol' Mrs. Pickles
c) Have let themselves go either in body or straight to my favorite neighborhood, plum & Gomorrah! Either way, I say, "No".
d) Sorry, entry "c" is because I remain single and have perfected the "nay" word. It infiltrates my speech even when I sleep!

Lastly, I do not give a whit what EA does about all of this! I say so because I believe they like to thwart me with HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED's ludicrous ideology and frankly, HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED, is going about it the wrong way. HE should ignore me and my awesome sauce-ness because Ol' Mrs. Pickles will likely throttle him with a rolling pin certainly borrowed from a better cook than she, if he even gets caught ogling some of my world pictures.

I'm just sayin'.