djrae1981's JumboTweets
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IN THE DARK CALL A SPARK
Welcome To My Jumbo-Tweet For Our Friends
Lc Fisher Electrical Services .. Please Click Each Link Below To View His Social Network Locations & What His Electrical Business Can Offer You.
WEBSITE
www.lcfes.co.uk
FACEBOOK :
www.facebook.com/sparkyservices
INSTAGRAM :
www.instagram.com/lc_fisher_electrical
TWITTER
https://twitter.com/sparkyservices
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WolverhamptonRiddimz
#Djrae1981
#WolverhamptonRiddimzRadio
#Internet #Radio
SIMPLY INSTALL THE LISTEN 2 MY RADIO APP VIA THE LINK BELOW FROM THE GOOGLE STORE
LOAD THE APP AND TYPE IN WOLVERHAMPTONRIDDIMZ IN THE SEARCH BOX TO FIND MY STATION.
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Radio Station Links
http://wolverhamptonriddimz.listen2myradio.com/
http://wolverhamptonriddimz.listen2mymusic.com/
http://wolverhamptonriddimz.radiostream321.com/
http://wolverhamptonriddimz.listen2myshow.com/
http://wolverhamptonriddimz.radio12345.com/
http://wolverhamptonriddimz.radiostream123.com/
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TWITTER
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YouTube
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PLACES I HAVE VISITED ONLINE
https://www.facebook.com/pages/England-United-Kingdom/215225401831351
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Santiago-Chile/112371848779363
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Qatar/112408228771113
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Tunis-Tunisia/111663698852329
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Czech-Republic/111741685508471
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Cambodia/109379752414911
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Dominican-Republic/112095485469785
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Belgium/107891469239125
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Uganda/106029926094101
https://www.facebook.com/CostaRicaViews
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Senegal/108106625884006
https://www.facebook.com/HeartCyprus
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Estonia/104031382967080
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Kuwait-City/112128342137958
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Portugal/104023262966156
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Finland/112369262112381
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Albania/112488818765069
https://www.facebook.com/VisitGuernsey
https://www.facebook.com/pages/United-States/112463092102121
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Canada/107480665948163
https://www.facebook.com/pages/India/109524955741121
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Netherlands/106123262753066
https://www.facebook.com/visitjamaicauk
https://www.facebook.com/Ireland
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Saudi-Arabia/113501108659997
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Germany/108100019211318
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Norway/108646839159211
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Spain/113019615379046
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Paris-France/110774245616525
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Italy/113396132004585
https://www.facebook.com/pages/South-Korea/108278619196284
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Mexico/109486839070556
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Australia/108191385876482
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Hungary/109316735753810
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Poland/106085842755444
https://www.facebook.com/pages/New-Zealand/106189769413370
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Abu-Dhabi-United-Arab-Emirates/115461575134685
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Barbados/108092812545743
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Romania/106076642756874
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Greece/106078956090444
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Algeria/105697919464817
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DAD LICHFIELD METHODIST 21 MARCH 2016
21 March 2016. Welcome – presence / interest / commitment.
Much of tonight`s material for meditation = www.patheos.com
It provides daily inspiration for your life and work . . because
at the start of Holy Week, this devotion will help you make connections between God, Scripture, and our daily life and worship.
The bottom line…..
Luke 22 : vs. 54 – 65 – Jesus is arrested, mocked, and Peter denies three times that he knows and follows Christ.
Luke 23:34 - “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they’re doing.”
I recall reading Forester`s `Hornblower` description of a man flayed / skinned alive, and Cornwell`s`Sharpe` description of the beating heart being removed from a prisoner. Recently, I recall watching the last 20 minutes of Mel Gibson`s portrayal of the scourging and suffering of Christ`s carry his Cross to Calvary.
I was sickened by the humiliation, pain, and torture of the journey, thinking no man could withstand this. Then I had that mind-flash – this was no normal man, this was a Special Man with a Purpose and a Passion.
How often we look for the easy way : the blind eye, deaf ear, keep your distance, don`t get involved.
We focus on `forgiveness`. That is the point of the cross, after all, Christ suffered a terrible, humiliating death to redeem in a vast sacrifice the wrong-doings of Man. Forgive their ignorance.
Jesus is destined to die so that we might be forgiven for our misdoings, so that we might be reconciled to God for eternity. Christ the Advocate (go-between) and Redeemer (defender).
However, the forgiveness of God through Christ doesn’t come only to those who don’t know what they are doing when they do wrongs : because in the mercy of God, we receive his forgiveness even when we do what we know to be wrong.
God chooses to wipe away our misdoings, not because we have some convenient excuse, and not because we have tried hard to make up for them, but because he is a God of amazing grace, with mercies that are new every morning. God wipes the slate clean.
As we hear the words, “Father, forgive them,” may we understand that we too are forgiven through Christ`s coming sacrifice, regardless, in our eyes, of his innocence, caring, and thoughtfulness.
As John writes in his first letter (1 John 1:9), “If we confess our wrongdoings to him, he is just and faithful to forgive them and to cleanse us from all wickedness”.
Christ will die on the cross for us, to cleanse us from all wickedness, from every last transgression. We are united with God the Father as his children. We are free to approach his throne of grace with our needs and concerns through prayer – requiring humbleness, confession, petition and thanks.
As Psalm 103:13 writes - God “has removed our transgressions as far from us as the east is from the west”. What good and great news!
Reflection inc. short period for reflection.
1. Do you recall times when you have regretted your wrong-doing, albeit major or minor ?
2. Do you take time to recollect and confess your `sins` on a regular basis - time of day or night – or immediately / or anytime it occurs to you / or only when you are found-out / or get feed-back from the offended ?
3. Is this forgiveness taken-for-granted, or is it recognized, confessed, and thanks given for the forgiveness which comes for the realization of the transgression ?
4. Because you have identified / analysed / been reproached - do you enjoy the freedom of God`s forgiveness to prevent re-occurrence of each wrong-doing?
5. ... <<<<<< N.B from Jumbotweet: auto-truncated at 4K characters on index page - Click here or on the "view" link to see entire jumbotweet! http://www.jumbotweet.com/ltweets/view/140025 -
The Year is 1916
THE YEAR IS 1916
“One hundred years ago”. Here are some statistics for the Year 1916 :
The average life expectancy for men was 47 years.
Fuel for cars was sold in chemists / pharmacists only.
Only 14 percent of the homes had a bath installed.
Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone (land-line) installed.
The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower.
The average British wage in 1915 was £15 per year !
A competent accountant could expect to earn £800 per year.
A dentist £900 per year.
A vet between £600 and £900 per year.
A mechanical engineer about £2000 per year.
More than 95 percent of all births took place at home and the midwife came a.s.a.p..
Ninety percent of all Doctors had no university education!
Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press AND the government as "substandard."
Sugar cost two pence a pound – there was no sugar-tax, and little obesity.
Eggs were 10 pence a dozen.
Coffee was five pence a pound.
Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.
Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason.
The Five leading causes of death were:
1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhoea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke
The American flag had 45 stars.
The population of Las Vegas , Nevada was only 30.
Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn't been invented yet.
There was neither a Mother's Day nor a Father's Day and Birthdays were the `children`s day`, inc. Christmas Day
Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write and, only 6 percent of all British pupils went to university.
Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at local corner chemists. Chemists said, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach, bowels, and is a perfect guardian of health!"
Eighteen percent of households had at least one full-time servant or domestic help – lodging free or minimal wage.
There were about 240 reported murders in the ENTIRE U.S.A.! In 2015 this figure had risen to 14,259.
In the UK the murder rate in 1916 was 1430. In 2015 it was 537. (Perhaps we are doing something right!)
I am now going to forward this to someone else by an electronic method (e-mail).
From here, it will be sent to others all over the WORLD all in a matter of seconds ! 2116 ? ? ?
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banal music
A Point of View:
Why it's time to turn the music off
In almost every public place today the ears are assailed by the sound of pop music. In shopping malls, public
houses, restaurants, hotels and elevators the ambient sound is not human conversation but the music disgorged
into the air by speakers - usually invisible and inaccessible speakers that cannot be punished for their
impertinence. Some places brand themselves with their own signature sound - folk, jazz or excerpts from the
Broadway musicals. For the most part, however, the prevailing music is of an astounding banality - it is there in
order not to be really there. It is a background to the business of consuming things, a surrounding nothingness on
which we scribble the graffiti of our desires. The worst forms of this music - sometimes known, after the trade
name, as Muzak - are produced without the intervention of musicians, being put together on a computer from a
repertoire of standard effects.
The background sounds of modern life are therefore less and less human. Rhythm, which is the sound of life, has
been largely replaced by electrical pulses, produced by a machine programmed to repeat itself ad infinitum, and to
thrust its booming bass notes into the very bones of the victim. Whole areas of civic space in our society are now
policed by this sound, which drives anybody with the slightest feeling for music to distraction, and ensures that for
many of us a visit to the pub or a meal in a restaurant have lost their residual meaning. These are no longer social
events, but experiments in endurance, as you shout at each other over the deadly noise.
There are two reasons why this vacuous music has flown into every public space. One is the vast change in the
human ear brought about by the mass production of sound. The other is the failure of the law to protect us from the
result. For our ancestors music was something that you sat down to listen to, or which you made for yourself. It was
a ceremonial event, in which you participated, either as a passive listener or as an active performer. Either way you
were giving and receiving life, sharing in something of great social significance.
With the advent of the gramophone, the radio and now the iPod, music is no longer something that you must make
for yourself, nor is it something that you sit down to listen to. It follows you about wherever you go, and you switch it
on as a background. It is not so much listened to as overheard. The banal melodies and mechanical rhythms, the
stock harmonies recycled in song after song, these things signify the eclipse of the musical ear. For many people
music is no longer a language shaped by our deepest feelings, no longer a place of refuge from the tawdriness and
distraction of everyday life, no longer an art in which gripping ideas are followed to their distant conclusions. It is
simply a carpet of sound, designed to bring all thought and feeling down to its own level lest something serious
might be felt or said.
And there is no law against it. You are rightly prevented from polluting the air of a restaurant with smoke; but
nothing prevents the owner from inflicting this far worse pollution on his customers - pollution that poisons not the
body but the soul. Of course, you can ask for the music to be turned off. But you will be met by blank and even
hostile stares. What kind of a weirdo is this, who wants to impose his will on everyone? Who is he to dictate the
noise levels? Such is the usual response. Background music is the default position. It is no longer silence to which
we return when we cease to speak, but the empty chatter of the music-box. Silence must be excluded... <<<<<< N.B from Jumbotweet: auto-truncated at 4K characters on index page - Click here or on the "view" link to see entire jumbotweet! http://www.jumbotweet.com/ltweets/view/132882 -
Friends & Family Forgotten veterans are finally honoured
Forgotten veterans are finally honoured
They bravely represented a United Nations force that helped to stabilize a country torn apart in the aftermath of the Second
World War.
Now, 62 years after the end of the Korean War, 19 veterans from Wolverhampton have been honoured for their roles in the
bloody conflict. Members of the city’s branch of the British Korean Veterans Association (WBKVA) were presented with the
South Korean Peace Medal at a ceremony at the Mayor’s Parlour.
It marked the culmination of the association’s bid to gain recognition for the men, all of whom took part in the battle
between North and South Korea from June 1950 to July 1953
Previously veterans could only be awarded the medal by appearing in person at the South Korean Embassy in London, but
following a plea from WBKVA chairman Len Flavell the medals were dispatched to Wolverhampton.
Member Fred Bunce, aged 85, said it was ‘a great honour’ for the men to be recognized for their efforts in a conflict that is
largely forgotten in the UK.
“The Korean War is not as well known over here,” said Mr Fred. Bunce, from Penn, who was a Leading Electrician’s Mate in
the Royal Navy during the conflict.
“It was a bloody conflict fought in extremely difficult conditions. There was a big loss of life on both sides. It came not long
after the Second World War had finished, so it has probably been pushed to the back of people’s minds.
“But all of us served over there in some way, so it’s nice that we have received these medals after so many years. We’re all
getting on a bit now so it wasn’t possible for most of us to get down to London.”
Facts about the three-year Korean War
The Korean War ran from June 25, 1950 to July 27, 1953.
It was fought between the Communist North, supported by China, and South Korea.
A UN force led by the USA fought for the south. This included more than 100,000 British troops.
The war started after Korea was split at the 38th Parallel when Japanese forces occupying the country were defeated in 1945.
US troops liberated the south and the Russians moved into the north.
Over the next five years arguments flared, culminating in the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea launching an attack on
the south on June 25. The UN Security Council passed a resolution to help the south.
As a full member of the council – and indebted to the USA – Prime Minister Clement Attlee felt Britain was obliged to enter
the conflict. Due to military cutbacks and difficulties recruiting regular troops in the aftermath of the Second World War,
many Britons who served in Korea were National Service conscripts.
More than 1,000 British servicemen fell into enemy hands. Many were subjected to brutal treatment, with 82 prisoners never
returning home.
It is estimated that around 2.5 million people were killed.
Mr Bunce, who rose to the rank of Chief Petty Officer during a 12-year stint with the navy, was stationed on the frigate HMS
St Brides Bay and aircraft carrier HMS Unicorn during the conflict.
He arrived in Korean waters on Boxing Day 1952 as part of a United Nations force led by the USA that was tasked with
keeping at bay the twin threat of North Korea and China.
Mr Bunce added: “I never set foot on Korean soil during the war as our work was done from three to four miles off shore.
“Our job was to disrupt the enemy’s supply lines and protect the islands off the Korean west coast, which were very
important from a strategic point of view.”
Mr Bunce said that Chodo island was of particularly high importance from a strategic point of view as it was home to an allied
radar station set up to monitor planes heading down from the north.
“We spent... <<<<<< N.B from Jumbotweet: auto-truncated at 4K characters on index page - Click here or on the "view" link to see entire jumbotweet! http://www.jumbotweet.com/ltweets/view/132852 -
GIVE ME BACK MY DOG
An old station hand named Billy was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture in the outback when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.
*
The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan®sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the old man, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf ?"
*
Billy looks at the young man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not ?"
*
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
*
The yuppie then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ..... *
*
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to Billy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
*
"That's right. Well, you'll be helping yourself to one of my calves then, since you won it fair and square." says Billy.
He watches the smartly dressed yuppie select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the man gingerly picks it up & stuffs it into the boot of his car.*
*
As the yuppie is carefully brushing the dust & hair off his suit, Billy says, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what work you do & where you come from, will you give me back my calf ?"
The yuppie thinks about it for a second, wondering what this wrinkled up dirt encrusted uneducated old man could possibly know? He grins and then says, "Okay, old fella, why not? I'm a believer in fair play."
*
"You're a politician & you work in Parliament." says the old timer.”
*
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but, tell me how on earth did you guess that ?"
*
"No guessing required." answered Billy "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked……………………
You used millions of pounds worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter…………………..
This is a herd of sheep.
Now give me back my dog !!” -
WINSTON CHURCHILL
Paraprosdokians -------figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous or thoughtful. (Winston Churchill loved them) –
1. Where there's a will…………………………………………………………………………………….I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ........................................................................................ but it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound………….. ……………some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you………………………………………………………………………….……..we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up ………………………………………………………… we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right…………………………………………………………..……….only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit………………………………...…wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. ……………………………….……….to steal from many is research.
9. I didn't say it was your fault……………………………………………...…………………..I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, notify..." I answered "……………….a doctor.
11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut……….. …………………………………………………………………………………………………..and still think they are cute.
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive……………………………… you only need a parachute to skydive again.
13. I used to be indecisive…………………………………………………………………………but now I'm not so sure.
14. To be sure of hitting the target………………………...…………shoot first and name whatever the target you hit.
15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian……………..any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
16. You're never too old to learn ………………………………………………………………………..something stupid.
17. I'm supposed to respect my elders……………………...but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
18. You don`t need to go to church to be a Christian……………you don`t have to go to a petrol station to buy petrol.
19. Wearing a Poppy is not just for Remembrance……….but a veteran appreciates you`re memory of past conflicts.
20. It isn`t the size of the Poppy, or Cross, that counts…….…....it is the everyday recognition of sacrifice and service. -
Djrae Childhood Song Music List
Djrae Childhood Song Music List
https://twitter.com/djrae1981
59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy)
Brown Girl In The Ring
Can Can
Can't Smile Without You
Cecelia
Eight Days A Week
English Country Garden
From Both Sides Now
Gonna Build A Mountain
I Know Where I'm Going To
Imagine
Jingle Bells
Leaving On A Jet Plane
Mary's Boy Child
Mockin' Bird Hill
Mother And Child Reunion
Piano Man
Singin' In The Rain
Solitude
Spanish Harlem
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Tennessee Waltz
Where Have All The Flowers Gone
Amapola
Can't Buy Me Love
Cuanto Le Gusta
Danny Boy (Londonderry Air)
Dream Baby (How Long Must I Dream)
Every Breath You Take
Fool If You Think It's Over
He'll Have To Go
Here Comes The Sun
I Ain't Got Nobody
I Just Called To Say I Love You
Patricia
Pennies From Heaven
Pigalle
Plaisir D'amour
Strangers In The Night
Take The 'A' Train
The Entertainer (The Sting) [Joplin, Scott]
Top Of The World
Banks Of The Ohio
Barcarolle (Les Contes D'Hoffmann) [Offenbach, Jacques]
Beautiful Brown Eyes
Edelweiss
Eine Kleine Nachtmusik
Espana
Girls And Boys Come Out To Play
Kum Ba Yah
Largo (Symphony No.9 In E Minor 'From The New World' Op.95) [Dvorak, Antonin]
Lavender Blue
Lightly Row
Little Bo-peep
Little Jack Horner
Long
Long Ago
Marianne
Merrily We Roll Along
Michael Row The Boat Ashore
Ode To Joy
Oh! Susanna
Old Macdonald Had A Farm
Pastoral Symphony
Red River Valley
Rivers Of Babylon
Shortnin' Bread
Skip To My Lou
The Banks Of The Ohio
The Grand Old Duke Of York
This Old Man
This Ole House
When The Saints Go Marching In
Wooden Heart
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TROOPING THE COLOUR HORSEGUARDS WEMBLEY
The 6th JUNE is annual music get together world
celebration at Wembley CAPITALONE also marking 70 years
world wait since it was all over ( VE - DAY ) party
followed by the 9th june
celebration horseguards next month .. funny that with the dates .
www.wembleystadium.com/Events/2015/Capital-Summertime-Ball/Capital-Summertime-Ball
www.facebook.com/WembleyStadium
www.householdcavalrymuseum.co.uk
www.trooping-the-colour.co.uk/
http://www.trooping-the-colour.co.uk
https://instagram.com/p/2IkOeXh50l/ -
PRIVATELY CAPTURED IS OFFICER
Privately - a recent captured IS `officer` released this information – the `officers` will, no doubt, keep the money for themselves whilst using the brain-washed jihadists as `cannon-fodder` and `agents-provocateurs`.
Obviously, with UK having sent money into Africa (Nigeria / Mali / Eritrea / Somalia / Congo / Ruanda / Syria / Iraq……………..) for, to my knowledge the last 60 years, this money has been filched off for terrorist purposes (palaces / strongholds, and weapons) rather than going into improving the water / sanitation / birth-control of the impoverished, subjugated poor where it was intended.
Biting the hand that feeds you comes to mind – they come here because `it is better` and then proceed to demolish Western life-style and culture in their intolerance, jealousy, and racial hatred.
As UKIP stated – `an evil faith` - having rumbled its Koran and not-so-hidden agenda.
Islamification by stealth. -
Think you`re having a bad day
Think you are having a bad day?
Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask.
A post-mortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.
It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of the forest fire.
You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air.
Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. But keep reading....
Still think you're having a bad day?
A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors.
His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to her husband.
While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to right the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up the spilled petrol with some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet.
After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.
The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched.
As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They started laughing so hard, one slipped, the stretcher dumping the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.
Still having a bad day ?
Just remember, it could be worse..
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.
Still think you are having a bad day ?
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Ipod.
STILL think you're havi ng a bad day ?
Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke... <<<<<< N.B from Jumbotweet: auto-truncated at 4K characters on index page - Click here or on the "view" link to see entire jumbotweet! http://www.jumbotweet.com/ltweets/view/104665 -
HOLIDAY FROM HELL ??
Embarked P&O Oriana at Southampton on Tuesday 17 March.
The ship was late from returning from Alta, the previous 12 days – technical problems and rough, adverse seas………………i.e. by boarding at 1400 in the Cunard dock when the last passengers had left at 1200, the ship had had little time to air, and be thoroughly cleaned – which confirmed the fact that Oriana had had a poor cruising reputation since December for Norovirus, poor food, poor crew – although these reviewers might have been `professional complainers and compensation-seekers`……………… Nevertheless, it has always had a reputation for vibration.
I had Norovirus on it in March `12 – surely `lightning can`t strike twice`…………….
We sailed for The Faroes via the Irish sea and the Minches - the weather getting colder, rougher, and greyer.
Despite Queen Victoria, with a female Faroes captain, docking without problems in June `14, our Polish captain declined to berth and moved off the coast to view the Solar Eclipse.
At the exact time, the Eclipse was viewed in all its glory, but the weather gain quickly blotted it our almost immediately afterwards – and Faroes- land-based ITV paid the ship for its photographs and videos !
Torshaven was windy, rainy and cold, and after wandering ashore for 3 hours, I took 4 hours to overcome the shivers.
Next day, en route to Tromso, in a rough sea with sleet, I visited the ship`s Doctor – who diagnosed that some food had disagreed with my normal medication, causing Dyspepsia. I had a short course of anti-biotics to prevent any infection, and a medication to prevent acid reflux for the rest of the cruise (until 30 March) (£350 bill not covered by my £400 excess).
In Tromso, Carole banned me from going ashore because the compacted ice, with frequent white-outs on top, would have severely tested my balance – she stayed out too long, and I was just about to send a search party when she returned – my mobile was switched off ! Be Prepared, or thriftiness (saving the battery / bill) ?
In Alta, more snow, more cold -11`C at the stern of the ship, and Carole again visited the shore and Cathedral twice – whilst I watched the snow-clearance and urine de-icer spraying on the alongside Alta runway.
That second night, -17`C in the Alta countryside at 0200, we saw the Northern Lights from the back of the ship - but my Compact camera, and Camcorder, had too short an exposure to record them successfully. We the rushed back into the warm despite our Arctic clothing (inc. my dependable multi-mileage Hiking boots)!
En route south from Alta, in more white-outs, and stormy seas, the ship performed wonderfully – her 1994 design , with stabilisers proving a godsend.
The Doctor has warned me of Norovirus (was it present already ?) – which the warm ship, closed-off decks (ice and wind), and stuffy public spaces (theatres, restaurants, handrails, door knobs, toilets, etc.) incubated well. The theatrical `smoke` also seemed to encourage sore throats, coughs, and eventually, colds.
At Bergen, we toured Hardangerfyord by coach and ferry, in good weather.
At Stavanger, next day, we toured the coast, light-houses, as far as Egersund, and returned in pleasant-style to Stavanger and ship by train.
We then faced a 2-day crawl back to Southampton – at 10-11 knts. - it usually takes 1 day at 18-20knts.
Back in Southampton, despite knowing the UK (Southampton) weather forecast for at least 36 hours, we found that we couldn`t berth. The Captain suggested an extra night on-board with all services complimentary – but Norovirus now prevalent, and coughs, in the warm ambient air aboard (decks still closed-off in the high wind). NB. Cunard have berthed in the Cunard dock apparently without problems for 175... <<<<<< N.B from Jumbotweet: auto-truncated at 4K characters on index page - Click here or on the "view" link to see entire jumbotweet! http://www.jumbotweet.com/ltweets/view/103604
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