“I am doll eyes
Doll mouth
Doll legs
I am doll arms
Big veins
Dog bait
Yea they really want you
They really want you
They really do
Yea they really want you
They really want you
But I do too
I want to be the girl with the most cake
I love him so much he just turns to hate
I fake it so real I am beyond fake
And someday you will ache like I ache
Some day you will ache like I ache”
“Doll Parts,” by Courtney Love
Michele Bachmann is indicative of an American problem. With her smart suits and good hair, she comes gliding into the presidential arena on a wicked witch’s broom, and all some see as real are the doll’s parts, working in concert, mouthing off belligerence, with a plastic smile, and eyes that roll up into her head, while an impotent wizard works behind the curtains, pulling the doll’s strings to the cheering of an ignorant crowd. Yeah, they really want you, they really want you, they really do…and that’s why you scare me, Michele, because I know you’re being pimped out by Master Marcus, and you aren’t much to pass for a human, let alone an American, but, hey, they really want you, they really want you, they really do…
Bachmann and company are in overdrive trying to spin the latest fall-out of the debt ceiling debacle. Standard and Poor’s sovereign ratings department downgraded U.S. debt from our once pristine AAA rating for the first time in our history. They cited political brinksmanship and the willingness for Tea Party Republicans, and, now it seems, some “mainstream” Republicans, to see this country go to the brink of default, with many cheering, like this is some kind of PlayStation game, for our country’s economy and reputation to go over the cliff. What the hell is this? We aren’t watching Thelma and Louise here. We can’t press replay or restart and get a fresh do-over. No. Real adults all over the world watched in horror and incredulity as we made dangerous asses of ourselves, shaking their heads and thinking, What are they doing? Do they have any idea of the consequences of their actions? Well, like bullies in a schoolyard, the fight, the desire to pull someone’s pants down and lead a chorus of derision got us a smackdown, yet, the bullies try to spin this like they won some incredible victory. I say to them, try to pull my pants down. Come on. Just take one step toward me and I will tear your asses apart and expose you for who you are. We ought not back down because, we all know, at the core of every bully is a coward. Well, I’m not afraid of you. I wish our president and the Democrats could grow a pair and take you down. What you have done merits an equal but opposite reaction: tearing you and your rhetoric to shreds, galvanizing people against you, holding you accountable for the obscene folly you directed and starred in is now my mission and ought to be the mission of the Democratic Party. I know I will do my level best to put you in Thelma and Louise’s car and accelerate you into oblivion.
To disgust and insult all of us even further, Republicans are trying to spin this crock of shit into political gold. They are cavalierly and purposely missing the point, wishing to evade responsibility for their part in this crisis by saying Obama failed to cut spending enough, as if the guy at S&P did not say
“The downgrade reflects our view that the effectiveness, stability, and predictability of American policymaking and political institutions have weakened at a time of ongoing fiscal and economic challenge.”
OR,
“The political brinkmanship we saw over raising the debt ceiling was something that was really beyond our expectations. The U.S. government getting to the last day before they had cash management problems…there are very few governments that separate the budget process from the debt authorization process…(the Washington debacle) that is what put things over the brink…(the U.S. government) could have done a few things (to have avoided this) …the first thing it could have done is to have raised the debt ceiling in a timely manner, so that much of this debate had been avoided to begin with, as they have done 60 or 70 times since the 1960s… they could have come up with a fiscal plan… similar to the Bowles-Simpson Commission...a bipartisan agreement…that came up with a number of sensible recommendations… ”
In Iowa, we’ve got Republican pretenders to the throne, and, they are a scary bunch. There’s the AARP–eligible Ken doll, the “Her eyes are watching God” Barbie doll, the once sensible Minnesotan former governor who has had to shape-shift to keep up with the crazies in the Right wing—well, he has just dropped out—and a slew of others none-too-savory are still in. Now, the governor of Texas, Rick Perry, who held the pray-in last week in Houston, has entered the race, and is being called a serious contender. Why is this so scary to me? Maybe because I don’t want to see anybody praying, like I don’t want to see them going to the bathroom—it’s an act more honestly and shamelessly done in private. I also have this thing about the separation of Church and State, believing as Thomas Jefferson did, that, could we build a wall between these institutions, the better we would be for it. I think it is dangerous to “Go God” on us, when we see some states in a frenzy to try and prevent what they believe is a Muslim aim to install Sha’ria law—more about our fear of Muslims than any real movement—but accept unabashed drives to promote “Christian” social agendas in our politics and government. Perry says he wants the government to have the least effect, be of the least consequence to our lives, but he will fight against gay marriage and women’s rights over their bodies. You cannot stay out of our lives if you intend to fight against civil rights for all. That puts you squarely in our bedrooms and doctor’s offices—two places I never want to see a politician.
What also scares me is that Perry is like Dubya with more brain power, seems likable, and, unlike Dubya, has the ability to articulate neatly without butchering the English language, and is not to-the-manor-born. Coming from a little sliver of Texas, called Paint Creek, the son of a cotton farmer and a farmer himself in his early years, Perry is the kind of hard-working, make-of-yourself all you can kind of guy who, I believe, will resonate with some very important independents who are angry at Obama and Congress, but who might find a record of jobs creation—albeit mostly minimum wage jobs—comprising nearly 40% of all U.S. jobs growth while accounting for only about 10% of overall population something to recommend the man. I listened to his announcement having to agree that he speaks with the kind of direct strength the nation has been hungry to hear. We like people who talk tough. Remember Reagan, “Mister Gorbachev, tear down this wall.” We like that kind of stuff. Now, let’s try, Mrs. Bachmann, shut your ignorant mouth. Ok, that might not resonate so well. Let me see… how about, Mrs. Bachmann, Jim Crow is dead, even for gay people. Not doing it for ya, huh? Well, give me a little time to think. I will come up with something. Umm…how about…Mrs. Bachmann, stop letting your husband pimp you out for his cause…(We all know Marcus wants to be First Lady, but the only Michele I want in the Whitehouse is the one already there). Anyway, I gotta work on it…
Speaking of Mrs. Bachmann…
Michele Bachmann is scary. Yeah, Michele, you fake a love for America so real you are beyond fake. Unlike Sarah Palin, Bachmann is a more serious contender, better at political spin than Palin could ever wish to be, and an obedient Republican the establishment knows won’t “go rogue.” That sort of acquiescent behavior translates into dollars--lots of them, and buys the support of the biggest Right wing players. In other words, she knows how to play the game, and a dangerous game it is, indeed. It opens the coffers and gives her political cover as somehow legitimate, even though her rhetoric is astoundingly divisive and delusional. When confronted on Meet The Press with her anti-gay pronouncements, Bachmann deftly, and without waivering, kept to her talking points and responded, “I am running for the presidency of the United States; I am nobody’s judge.” Here are the quotes with which she was confronted, from a speech she made in 2004 at the National Education Leadership Conference:
"We need to have profound compassion for the people who are dealing with the very real
issue of sexual dysfunction in their life, and sexual identity disorders," Bachmann said in a 2004 speech. "It's not funny, it's sad. It's part of Satan, I think, to say this is gay. It's anything but gay."… "If you're involved in the gay and lesbian lifestyle, it's bondage. Personal bondage, personal despair, and personal enslavement. And that's why this is so dangerous."
Without missing a beat, Congresswoman Bachmann stuck to her script and repeated her refrain. Here is the actual dialogue of the exchange on Meet The Press:
"That is the view President Bachmann would have of gay Americans?" NBC's David Gregory asked Bachmann Sunday.
"Well, I'm running for the presidency of the United States," Bachmann replied. "I'm not running to be anyone's judge." "But you do judge them," Gregory noted.
"I don't judge them," Bachmann disagreed. "I am running for presidency of the United States."
"Congresswoman, do you think that anyone who hears that thinks you haven't made a judgment about gays and lesbians?" Gregory wondered.
"That's all I can tell you. I am not judging," Bachmann insisted.
The candidate added that she would be willing to appoint a gay cabinet member if they shared her views.
Yeah, Michele Bachmann wants to be the girl with the most cake. And, I would like to see her starve.
When Gregory confronted her about the debt ceiling debacle, Bachmann answered that we must listen to the people, who, she says, did not want the debt ceiling to be increased. When reminded that such a course of action would have caused U.S. default and subsequent cataclysm, she said we must listen to the people. Ok, there was a time people believed that an African-American slave was three fifths of a human being and ought not to have rights. People once went psycho to keep Jim Crow laws in place, fighting against civil rights, and fire-hosing the skin off of black people. Michele, if you are going to play to the cheap seats, appeal to what is basest in the American populace, promote homophobia, and drive the economy over a cliff just becauses asses who don't understand the consequences coo in your ear, then it is time to take out your battery, cut the string with the loop in back of your head, put you in Thelma and Louise's car, and send you and your repetitive loop of nonsense crashing and burning. And I'm wishing, "Yea, someday you will ache like I ache...Someday you will ache like I ache..."
Her views also include the following:
"You have a teacher talking about his gayness. [The elementary school student] goes home then and says 'Mom! What’s gayness? We had a teacher talking about this today.' The mother says 'Well, that’s when a man likes other men, and they don’t like girls.' The boy’s eight. He’s thinking, 'Hmm. I don’t like girls. I like boys. Maybe I’m gay.' And you think, 'Oh, that’s, that’s way out there. The kid isn’t gonna think that.' Are you kidding? That happens all the time. You don’t think that this is intentional, the message that’s being given to these kids? That’s child abuse."*
*Uh, Michele, most perverts and pedophiles are heterosexual.
"It isn’t that some gay will get some rights. It’s that everyone else in our state will lose rights. For instance, parents will lose the right to protect and direct the upbringing of their children. Because our K-12 public school system, of which ninety per cent of all youth are in the public school system, they will be required to learn that homosexuality is normal, equal and perhaps you should try it. And that will occur immediately, that all schools will begin teaching homosexuality."*
*Just like everyone wanted to be black after the successes of the Civil Rights Movement, and teachers were teaching…what? Blackness?
Hmm. Want this in the Whitehouse? At a time when common humanity and decency have been severely lacking, can we afford to have this woman lead what has been the greatest nation on the planet? At a time when it is critical to have truly bright and intelligent leaders, we have this baffling idiot in effect saying, “Don’t listen to what I have said that might make me vulnerable to attack in this race. I am running for president of the United States. Don’t try to make me own up to my awful, dim-witted judgments. I am running for president of the United States. I know homosexuals are perverts and pedophiles, but I can’t admit that because I AM RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. Like this is her chance to press restart and get a do-over. Well, truth is, any serious contender for the presidency of this great country MUST be held accountable for what he or she says. Your statements, beliefs, convictions MUST be known, for the “buyer” must beware. In no other position are these things more critical. To evade responsibility for them is to be disingenuous and undeserving of the position which you seek. You said these immoral and untrue things. You advance hatred, stereotyping, and discrimination. BUT, you are running for president of the United States. Oh. Sorry, I didn’t get your point. So, let me get this straight: you do not have to own up to the most heinous rhetoric you have spouted because you are running for president of the United States. Michele, you speak with forked tongue. Like that of a serpent. I know you dig those Bible references. That shit about being submissive to your husband, and all that. Too bad you never got to the New Testament. The one with the loving God, not the hypercritical, insecure nut of a God in the Old Testament. The one who really commits child abuse when he tells Abraham to sacrifice his son, Isaac. And, Abraham wins God’s approval when he ties his kid down and is about to off him. Think that did any damage to Isaac, Michele? Come on, now, you can get that answer for us, can’t you? You’re the one with the “bat-phone” to God, aren’t you? Well, with the maniacal shit you spew as “divinely inspired,” you can talk to God all you want, Michele, but, realize, it is Satan who is answering you. Any time you choose to discriminate against any of God’s children, it isn’t Christian. To promote hatred is not Christian. To be an ignorant ass isn’t either. And, more to the point at this juncture, it is Un-American. You do, however, talk the talk of the most ignorant and intolerant of our populace, and that is a fearful and unfortunate presentiment.
See, we, as a country, cannot seem to appreciate a person who really does respect everyone and wants everyone to have guaranteed civil rights. We tend to see that person as weak, misguided, un-Godly, as if you have to be a hater to get anywhere in this America. We like our hate. We want to be able to hate freely. We want the last group we can legally hate to remain hate-able. What would we do with all that negative shit we have if we can’t hate? I mean, come on. Don’t take away our last bastion of hatred. We are a Hater Nation. We can’t call African-Americans niggers anymore. We can’t openly discriminate against them or women. Now, you wanna take away the gays, too? Shit. Ain’t there an amendment somewhere in that there Constitution that allows me to keep my niggers and faggots at the lash’s end, just like I can keep my guns? This country needs a good lynchin’ is all. I think we gotta start with that there high yellow nigger in the Whitehouse. How the hell he get in there in the first place? We white folk been sleepin’ too long. Look what you gone and done here. Look what they done, Bubba. They done put a Arabic Muslim negro man in our Whitehouse. That ain’t no place for a black man, in the WHITEHOUSE. There’s reasons why we named it that. Don’t anybody know American History?
If “No Drama Obama” can’t make political hay out of Bachmann’s bullshit, and reinforce this nation’s unequivocal stand on civil rights at the same time, he is in trouble. He is also, unfortunately, taciturn as ever, and cannot continue to speak derogatorily as “the adult in the room,” when the walls of said room seem to be closing in on all sides. Being “the adult” won’t do much for you in a dysfunctional “family” where the kids beat up their parents. He does not, perhaps cannot, make bold pronouncements of any consequence after he gave away the store in the devastating budget battle. But, I say he MUST. Who will champion sanity, if not him? And, just how do you get those goddamn crazy people who believe Bachmann to be sane or be attracted by it? I don’t know if you can. Anyone who believes the kind of crap passing for acceptable, even presidential, convictions is so far from ok in the head that I fear them and the fact that they live in the same country that I do. President Obama must do some re-tooling. Can he reinvent himself, and, if he can, would he turn voters off rather than inspire them as he did in 2008? I think, however he presents himself, he has weakened his image as president sufficiently to erase the stature the office would give him, and is, therefore, a real target for getting bloodied up. So, how can he duck and cover and pounce? I would start by acting like the Republicans: you have to have a short memory, or, pretend not to have one at all. Start acting like the president of the United States and forget that you once forgot to. Then proceed to get rid of your whiny advisors and take a savvy, smart set of speechwriters and talking-point mavens from across the political spectrum. I would not start saying that God told you to replace your reelection team, or do a reprise of “Kumbaya,” since your last attempt at it went so well with the many self-styled Christians, who resembled Roman Emperor Diocletian more than they did the Christian “lion-feed.” Remember, these folks are only Christian when they campaign in the Bible Belt or the Mid-West. Other than that, they are Philistines.
David Axelrod’s bad comb-over, and his weary, whiny voice make me cringe, but also make me understand what a bubble the president is in. I want him and his to burst that bubble, start a campaign of shock and awe, or get in the back seat of Thelma and Louise’s car, because, Barack, baby, you will be driven over the cliff and take your place in political oblivion, with the likes of Jimmy Carter as company. Get yourself some help, man. There is only, uh, the leadership of the greatest country in the world on the line. I don’t want to live in a Hater Nation. Anyone else out there who doesn’t, please throw me, and the president, a line. Right now, the very essence of our country, what it means to be an American is on that line. And, I want my country back, yeah I really want it, I really do…