“Most, not all, but most
men have been mama-ed
to death-not just in church,
but in the world.”
Bishop T.D. Jakes
The black
male crisis©2015
A case of:
Too Much Mama,
Too Little Daddy?
By Samuel K
theblacksilentmajority (sm)
Nearly 70 percent of black families are headed by single black females. It’s a difficult job, and many of these single mothers are doing a good job against great odds. Too often, their challenge, however, is to be both mother and father to their black male sons.
In a perfect world, black males, who father children out-of-wedlock, would be more responsible. But we don’t live in a perfect world. In the real world, too many black males have punked out on responsibility.
They have not been involved in the upbringing of their children, and the social consequences of this kind of irresponsibility are numerous. One consequence is that young black boys, in their formative years, don’t get that father’s stern hand when it is really needed. By default, single mother are challenged to be both mother and father to their sons.
But it wasn’t always this way in the black community. African American families used to have a mother and father in the household. Then things changed. Values weakened. Out-of-wedlock births found greater acceptance. It was no longer taboo, and it became the norm. Today, most black births are to unmarried females.
Bishop TD Jakes dedicated an entire lecture series on this very subject.
On the question if black males have been mama-ed to death, Bishop Jakes had this to say in a sermon:
“Most, not all, but most men have been mama-ed to death-not just in church, but in the world. There’s nothing wrong with loving your mother, but we’ve been mama-ed to death. There are some problems with that. You see, a woman’s tendency is to train her daughter and favor her sons. Men, on the other hand, have a tendency to train their sons and favor their daughters. And it works great when you’ve got both. Then, the young man gets his behind kicked by his daddy, his mama runs right in and soothes him. The girl catches it from her mama. But the problem with us is we had no fathers. So we get a double dose of mama.”
ON THE ABSENCE OF MALE ROLE MODELS.
“You go to school and there’s a mama. You went to Sunday school—there’s a mama. Everywhere you go, there’s a mama. And then, you run into a ‘daddy.’ And the moment you run into a man who says get yourself together, the first thing you do is run back to mama.’”
ON THE LACK OF FATHERLY DISCIPLINE
“…A father loves you by chastening. That’s why the Bible said who the Lord loveth, he chastens, so that he might be a son and not a bastard. We have a bastard generation. A father challenges a son, and if you’ve never been challenged, you don’t maximize your potential. You need somebody to confront you. And the first time they confront you, you quit the job because they expected something from you. I’ve come to tell you to pull your pants up on your hips, and get yourself a job.”
SUMMARY
So many of the problems we see in the black community are tied to the breakup of the black family and the rise of out-of-wedlock births. Ideally, the black family has to be reconstituted. But we can’t wait. Single mothers still can teach proper values to their children. Whether a child has two parents or one parent, what matters most is what kind of values the child is being taught.
Without good parenting and the teaching of good values, black boys and black girls will continue to take their cues from the hip-hop/rap culture, which promotes street values. Street values encourage irresponsible sex, disrespect for authority and older people, a blurred sense of what’s right and wrong, and a lack of appreciation of how education can transform a person from poverty to a higher status in life.
men have been mama-ed
to death-not just in church,
but in the world.”
Bishop T.D. Jakes
The black
male crisis©2015
A case of:
Too Much Mama,
Too Little Daddy?
By Samuel K
theblacksilentmajority (sm)
Nearly 70 percent of black families are headed by single black females. It’s a difficult job, and many of these single mothers are doing a good job against great odds. Too often, their challenge, however, is to be both mother and father to their black male sons.
In a perfect world, black males, who father children out-of-wedlock, would be more responsible. But we don’t live in a perfect world. In the real world, too many black males have punked out on responsibility.
They have not been involved in the upbringing of their children, and the social consequences of this kind of irresponsibility are numerous. One consequence is that young black boys, in their formative years, don’t get that father’s stern hand when it is really needed. By default, single mother are challenged to be both mother and father to their sons.
But it wasn’t always this way in the black community. African American families used to have a mother and father in the household. Then things changed. Values weakened. Out-of-wedlock births found greater acceptance. It was no longer taboo, and it became the norm. Today, most black births are to unmarried females.
Bishop TD Jakes dedicated an entire lecture series on this very subject.
On the question if black males have been mama-ed to death, Bishop Jakes had this to say in a sermon:
“Most, not all, but most men have been mama-ed to death-not just in church, but in the world. There’s nothing wrong with loving your mother, but we’ve been mama-ed to death. There are some problems with that. You see, a woman’s tendency is to train her daughter and favor her sons. Men, on the other hand, have a tendency to train their sons and favor their daughters. And it works great when you’ve got both. Then, the young man gets his behind kicked by his daddy, his mama runs right in and soothes him. The girl catches it from her mama. But the problem with us is we had no fathers. So we get a double dose of mama.”
ON THE ABSENCE OF MALE ROLE MODELS.
“You go to school and there’s a mama. You went to Sunday school—there’s a mama. Everywhere you go, there’s a mama. And then, you run into a ‘daddy.’ And the moment you run into a man who says get yourself together, the first thing you do is run back to mama.’”
ON THE LACK OF FATHERLY DISCIPLINE
“…A father loves you by chastening. That’s why the Bible said who the Lord loveth, he chastens, so that he might be a son and not a bastard. We have a bastard generation. A father challenges a son, and if you’ve never been challenged, you don’t maximize your potential. You need somebody to confront you. And the first time they confront you, you quit the job because they expected something from you. I’ve come to tell you to pull your pants up on your hips, and get yourself a job.”
SUMMARY
So many of the problems we see in the black community are tied to the breakup of the black family and the rise of out-of-wedlock births. Ideally, the black family has to be reconstituted. But we can’t wait. Single mothers still can teach proper values to their children. Whether a child has two parents or one parent, what matters most is what kind of values the child is being taught.
Without good parenting and the teaching of good values, black boys and black girls will continue to take their cues from the hip-hop/rap culture, which promotes street values. Street values encourage irresponsible sex, disrespect for authority and older people, a blurred sense of what’s right and wrong, and a lack of appreciation of how education can transform a person from poverty to a higher status in life.