My cell phone jars me from sleep. My eyes shoot to my bedside clock and I am immediately irritated. It’s only 6:16 am!
“Who the hell calls this early?” I mumble aloud as I fumble for my phone.
“Hello?” I rasp with no attempt at all to conceal my annoyance.
“Shay?” my friend sounds distraught, but also a tad excited. “What are you doing?”
“Um…sleeping. Or, I was.”
She ignores me and rushes on. “Have you seen the news yet?”
“No! I was sleeping, I told you that!”
“You need to see it Shay,” she pauses and then adds quietly, “It’s bad.”
I sit up in bed with a start, my mind racing. It’s Justin. It has to be! Something has happened to Justin!

“Is he okay?” I pray for her to give me the answer I am desperate to hear.
“Just turn it on.” She says vaguely.
“Rebecca!” I yell into the phone, nearing hysterics. “Is he fucking okay!?!”
“Yeah, he’s fine as far as I know…nothing like that.”
The air rushes from my lungs with relief as the knot in my stomach loosens slightly.
“But you need to turn it on…and Shay?” she hesitates.
“Yeah?” I am already crossing my bedroom to switch on the tv. As always, I can’t find my remote.
“You need to prepare, it’s not good.”
“Fine!” I hiss, tiring of her dramatics.
I slide my phone shut without bothering to say goodbye and settle in front of the screen.
The anchor is rattling on, but I don’t hear a word he is saying. The graphic hovering beside his overly groomed head is a stock photo of Justin and I at an awards ceremony, and below our faces the words, “Sex Tape Scandal!” scream out in bold text.
My pulse pounds in my ears and I fear I may vomit. “This cannot be happening!” I wail with a choked sob. I want to call Justin, I want to scream accusations and I told you so’s at him, but I find myself unable to move. I hate myself for allowing him to talk me into this monumental mistake.
Tears begin to stream down my face as my mind jumps to that night, and suddenly Justin’s voice rings in my ears as though he is right beside me.
“Come on Shay…it’ll be so fucking hot.” He had coaxed steadying the camera on me.
“Justin, what if it gets out? They always do.” I wasn’t convinced this was a good idea…in fact, I was sure it wasn’t.
He had laughed, “I hope it does! Then the whole world could see my naughty little thing in action. I have to say Shay, it’s beyond impressive to watch you work. Maybe I’ll leak it myself.”
I had argued a little more, knowing it was futile. Justin always gets his way, and that night had been no different. And now look at this fucking mess!
I will my body to move and yank my laptop off of the dresser. I flip open the top in a panic and wait for it to boot up. Once its ready, my fingers fly across the keys, typing in TMZ, of course those bastards will be the first to have all the details.
And sure enough, we are front and center, dominating the homepage. I scan the article quickly, looking for a link. I know it’s got to be there…and yes, there it is. My curser hovers over it as a voice in my head warns me against making this situation worse by watching the video, but I can’t help myself.
My finger presses the tiny button and my head spins sickeningly as I wait for the video to load. Why am I doing this to myself? I know what’s in this video, I was there that night. I had allowed myself to get carried away by Justin and the desire to be a sex goddess for the camera…and Jesus Christ, the things we did. “Oh my god!” I sob once more, realizing the whole world will see this…my family, my friends, my coworkers, the fucking cashier at the grocery store. This will be headlining gossip news for months.
The video loads and the image of Justin and I appears on the screen. The beginning was apparently of no importance, because it has been cut. Instead I find myself staring in muted horror as Justin’s cock disappears past my lips. I am on my knees in front of him, going to town like a whore for the entire world to see as he praises my skill with a tumble of obscenities that had driven me out of my mind with lust at the time.
I feel my stomach churn its contents higher into my throat as I slam the laptop shut. I jump to my feet and search for my purse frantically. I slip my feet into the flip flops that are tossed forgotten on the floor beside my door and don’t bother to change. I rush into the garage in my blue and white striped pajama pants and a yellow tank top that doesn’t match even a little bit. I couldn’t care less about my appearance.
I shove the keys into the ignition and wait impatiently for the door to slowly rise.
“Why the fuck haven’t you even called?” I scream at my cell phone. I know he must have heard by now.
I make the thirty minute drive to Justin’s in a little under twenty. Grateful that I have narrowly missed the beginnings of the morning rush hour traffic.
The guard that man’s his security gate looks worried and a little embarrassed as he raises the wrought iron gate and waves me through with a faintly knowing smile.
“God dammit!” I cry with a hard pound to the steering wheel. I round the circular driveway to find Scooter’s car parked there. Yes, Justin has heard. And Scooter’s here putting the damage control in place already. More will be along soon, I know. PR reps and execs from the label and god know’s who else.
I throw open my car door and don’t bother to close it. My feet pound up the stairs as I search my set of keys for the one that opens his front door. I won’t bother knocking…won’t give him even an extra second to prepare for my arrival.
I throw open the door and storm into the house screaming his name. “Justin! You stupid son of a bitch! Justin!” I rush into the living room, to find Scooter moving towards me.
“Shay…” he places his hands on my shoulders, trying to calm me.
I shrug him off violently, “No Scooter! No! Where is he?”
Scooter sighs and tries again, “Look, I know this is bad, but we’re going to…”
I cut him off, “Where the fuck is he Scooter?”
I suddenly hear Justin call to me from the stairs. I sidestep Scooter and stomp over. My anger flares to a frightening level as Justin comes into view.
“What the fuck did you do?” I scream and throw my keys hard, aiming for him. He ducks instinctively and they hit the wall behind him.
“Come up here.” Why is he always so goddamn calm?
I race up the stairs two at a time, and scream once more when I reach him. “What the fuck did you do?” I give him a little shove.
“What? You think I did this? You think I leaked it? Are you out of your fucking mind Shay?” He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me close. Despite my boiling anger, he places a single kiss on my lips before I push him away.
“Get off Justin…have you seen it? Have you seen the video that the whole world is watching?” I am sobbing once again.
I see something flash in his eyes for a moment…pleasure? And then it is gone. I hear his comment from that night replaying in my ears, “Maybe I’ll leak it myself.”
“Justin…they’ll be here soon, in less than an hour.” Scooter yells up. “And we’ve got press outside the gates already.”
Justin takes hold of my wrist and pulls me down the hall towards the master bedroom. “Come on.”
I jerk out of his grasp but follow him anyway. He closes the heavy wooden double doors behind us and then regards me closely…a tiny smile playing on his lips.
“Are you fucking smiling?” I am appalled. “What the hell are you smiling about?”
“You. I love it when you’re angry…you look so fucking sexy.” He whispers, attempting to pull me close.
“Are you serious? You can’t be serious! What are we going to do Justin? Everyone is going to see it! Everyone! I can’t believe this…I can’t fucking believe this!”
He grazes my face with the back of his hand softly, “Settle down Shay…yeah, it’s a bit of a crisis, but they’ll have forgotten this in a few days.” He knows as well as I do that that’s a lie.
“What did you do Justin?” I repeat quietly, “Did you leak it? Did you?”
He shakes his head, “No…I didn’t.”
“Then how? How did this happen?” I need an explanation, I need someone to blame.
“I don’t know Shay…I don’t have any answers. The only copy is still in the safe, so someone must have copied it and…”
I jump in. “Why didn’t you get rid of it like I said? Why didn’t you fucking burn it or something?”
He smiles again and narrows his eyes at me, “Because I like to watch it every now and then.”
“Yeah? Well now you’re sharing your little private screening with everyone else on earth with access to the internet!”
I’m yelling again, but he remains soft spoken. “Did you watch it Shay?” Oh god, he’s getting off on this I realize.
“A little…” I give in a bit.
“Which part?” He moves closer to me and presses me against the doors gently.
“The beginning…well, where they started it at least.” I allow him to bite my neck softly, but I’m not sure why…because I am still so angry with him.
“Which part was that?” he knows, I know he does, but he wants to hear me say it. I refuse.
“You know exactly which part Justin.” A small sighs escapes me, betraying the fact that I find myself wanting him too suddenly, a fact I’ve been trying to hide from him at all costs.
“Oh…you mean when you were sucking my cock don’t you?” He moans into my flesh. “See? I told you it’d be hot didn’t I?”
“I don’t think it’s hot at all!” I agrue.
He slips his hand into the navy and white silk of my pajama pants and pushes past my panties. He eases one finger inside me, and then another.
“I don’t Justin!” I fight to control my breathing.
He discovers I am dripping wet and smiles, “Liar.”
He pushes in and out of me gently, sweeping his thumb across my clit as I work harder still to stay in control of myself.
“You like that?” He whispers into my ear, sending chills coursing through my body.
I bite down on my lips to silence myself, but I nod anyway.
“I wonder how many people are watching us fuck right now Shay? I wonder how many cocks are hard right now all because of you?” It’s the most deliciously horrible thing I have ever heard.
I gasp in spite of myself as he works my clit a little faster.
He suddenly abandons my swollen, aching cunt and strides across the room. He flips open his own laptop and opens a minimized tab on the screen. I recognize it right away…it’s our video…of course it is.
He makes his way back to me and grabs me away from the door. He leads me over to the bed, my anger has returned at the sight of us on the screen and I try to fight away from him. But he holds fast, tangling his hands in my hair as he pushes me down on all fours on the bed. He slides the laptop in front of us and holds me in place.
“Look…” his mouth is so close to my ear, his words fall so warm upon my skin, that I can’t help but sigh. I do as he tells me and watch the screen intently. He is fucking me on the very same bed on which we lay now, my legs are thrown high over his shoulders as I whine and beg for more.
I feel the tip of his cock toying with my clit from behind and I hate myself for wanting him to fuck me as badly as I do. I should be furious with him, and actually…I am. But that has somehow made me want this even more.
My screams have grown louder through the computer and I hear my voice moaning for Justin to make me cum.
“You’re about to cum Shay…” he circles me with his cock. “Watch…”
I watch as my screams peak and my body shakes and trembles, as I moan his name wildly and pull him closer to me.
“Do you see what I can do to you Shay?” He breathes as I continue to watch with rapt attention. I nod without looking away.
“Do you want me to do it again?” His voice is so soft and thick with desire it makes me shake…My need for him has become painful, and I don’t want to wait any longer.
“Yes!” I whine with a long moan of need. “Please do it again Justin…please do it again.”

“Tell me the truth Shay, tell me the truth and I will.” He teases me mercilessly. “I know this has gotten you just as fucking turned on as it has me, and I want to hear you say it. Fucking say it.” He pulls my hair with gentle force.
“Oh god…” I moan, unable to collect my thoughts enough to form an actual sentence.
He tugs my hair once more and repeats his demand, “Say it Shay...” His tone is warning, as if I’ll be sorry if I don’t do as he says.
“YES!” The word rides out on a scream of frustration, “I want it so bad right now I can’t fucking see straight so fuck me!” Desperation pours from me, “Just fuck me…please Justin!”
He pulls my hair again and then releases it from his grasp. His hands fall to my hips as he presses the head of his cock against me with hardly any force at all. I shove back against him, trying to force him inside but to no avail.
He grabs me around the waist again, and swings me up the bed with stunning ease. I find myself pressed tightly against the wall and headboard as he moves behind me, pushing my legs apart to allow him close enough to fuck me.
He drives into me hard and without warning, I lose my breath as I gasp with relief.
His chest is pressed close to my back as he slams into me forcefully, he holds me flush against the wall…and I am complete unable to move other than to grip the heavy oak against me.
Moans and sighs and cries of delight spill from me unchecked now as he fucks me with almost violent thrusts. His fingers have sought my clit once again, and they dance against it with perfection, drawing me dangerously close to cumming already.
“You love it don’t you Shay…” he doesn’t wait for my response, “Such a fucking dirty little bitch.” He bites down hard on my neck and I thread my hand into his hair to hold his warm mouth to me.
He knows he can say anything he wants when he gets me this out of control, he knows I love it and wouldn’t have it any other way.
I pull his hair lightly and scream his name, oblivious to thought that someone might hear. Beautifully erotic moans are falling steadily from him now and I feel his cock swell and burst as his hot cum floods into me. I have never been able to handle listening to him cum…the sounds he makes are indescribably exquisite and melodic. My orgasm rushes over me and intense waves of pleasure roll through my body with shocking force.
My pussy contracts and pulses around his still pumping cock as we cum simultaneously, our moans and cries melting together to fill the room.
The same sounds still pipe from the speakers on his laptop, reminding me of the problem we still face…and the horrible repercussions that it will undoubtedly bring for both of us.
But for now, for just a little while longer, I will allow him to help me forget…for now I am here with him and that is enough.