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The Atheist, the Bear and God #humor
An atheist was walking through the woods one day in Alaska, admiring the fruits of evolution. "What majestic trees! What a powerful river! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
But as he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 13-foot Kodiak Brown Bear charge right at him!
The atheist ran as fast as he could down the path, but the bear ran faster and rapidly approached him. Somehow, the atheist ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes and his heart was pounding in his chest.
But then, the atheist tripped on one of the majestic tree roots and fell to the ground! And as he rolled over to pick himself up, the bear was right over him, reaching for him with its left paw and raising its right paw to strike him.
The atheist cried out, "OH MY GOD! ..."
And just like that, time stopped for everything but the atheist! The bear froze, and the forest became silent and still. Even the river stopped moving.
Then, a brilliant light shone down upon the atheist and a thunderous voice sounded out, coming from the sky above...
"YOU HAVE DENIED MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS. YOU TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON'T EXIST, AND EVEN CREDIT CREATION TO SOME COSMIC ACCIDENT. AND NOW YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU OUT OF THIS PREDICAMENT? ARE YOU ASKING TO BE COUNTED AS A BELIEVER NOW?"
The atheist thought a moment about his predicament and realized he couldn't pull off such a lie. But then, he figured out a way he could trick God into making the bear humble and peace loving, thus saving himself. The atheist thought, "This is brilliant!"
So, with great difficulty, the atheist looked directly into the light and said, "It would be hypocritical of me to ask to be a Christian after all these years. But God, would you make the bear a Christian?"
"VERY WELL."
Then, the light went out, the river started running, and the sounds of the forest resumed.
And the atheist looked up with a big smile on his face as the bear stopped its attack, dropped down on its knees, brought both paws together, and bowed its head.
But then, the bear spoke:
"Lord, thank you for this food which I am about to receive."
— Anonymous (Available in several on line versions.)
An atheist was walking through the woods one day in Alaska, admiring the fruits of evolution. "What majestic trees! What a powerful river! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
But as he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 13-foot Kodiak Brown Bear charge right at him!
The atheist ran as fast as he could down the path, but the bear ran faster and rapidly approached him. Somehow, the atheist ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes and his heart was pounding in his chest.
But then, the atheist tripped on one of the majestic tree roots and fell to the ground! And as he rolled over to pick himself up, the bear was right over him, reaching for him with its left paw and raising its right paw to strike him.
The atheist cried out, "OH MY GOD! ..."
And just like that, time stopped for everything but the atheist! The bear froze, and the forest became silent and still. Even the river stopped moving.
Then, a brilliant light shone down upon the atheist and a thunderous voice sounded out, coming from the sky above...
"YOU HAVE DENIED MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS. YOU TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON'T EXIST, AND EVEN CREDIT CREATION TO SOME COSMIC ACCIDENT. AND NOW YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU OUT OF THIS PREDICAMENT? ARE YOU ASKING TO BE COUNTED AS A BELIEVER NOW?"
The atheist thought a moment about his predicament and realized he couldn't pull off such a lie. But then, he figured out a way he could trick God into making the bear humble and peace loving, thus saving himself. The atheist thought, "This is brilliant!"
So, with great difficulty, the atheist looked directly into the light and said, "It would be hypocritical of me to ask to be a Christian after all these years. But God, would you make the bear a Christian?"
"VERY WELL."
Then, the light went out, the river started running, and the sounds of the forest resumed.
And the atheist looked up with a big smile on his face as the bear stopped its attack, dropped down on its knees, brought both paws together, and bowed its head.
But then, the bear spoke:
"Lord, thank you for this food which I am about to receive."
— Anonymous (Available in several on line versions.)