Who’s the boss?
Can you control your anger?
Or, does your anger control you? © 2016
Samuel K
theblacksilentmajority (SM)
Two men are engaged in an argument. A drink is accidentally spilled. One man is so angry he takes out a gun and fires at the other man. He missed the other man, but the bullet struck the man’s young daughter. The daughter died. Was the argument so important a child had to die?
Two women were on a city bus. One woman made the mistake of bumping into the other woman. Seconds later, the woman who was bumped into stabbed to death the other woman. Two lives have been ruined over a bump. Was it worth it?
Regrettably, incidents like these two are not rare. They happen everyday.Too often, one person is all too willing to punch, stab, or shoot another person over things many people would ignore. It could be over a parking spot, a stare, a place in line, a perceived insult, or some other dumb stuff.
Psychiatrists have explanations for this type of behavior.
In the book, “Make Peace With Anyone,” David Lieberman, offered some important insights into anger. He wrote:
“When we do not get respect from others, we get angry because it hurts how we need to see ourselves. This disrupts our ability to feel in control. The emotional response to this loss of control is fear. The response to fear is anger. At the root of all negative emotions—envy, lust, jealousy, and anger—is fear.
“At the root of fear is low self-esteem. This is why angry people have low self-esteem. This is why they argue, are stubborn and don’t forgive. Anger makes us feel powerful. It gives us the illusion we are in control, free and independent. But in reality, it makes us lose control.”
“When someone is rude or embarrasses us--does anything that is disrespectful—if we have low self-esteem, it causes us to question our own self-worth and lash out with anger. This is why a person with low self-esteem is highly sensitive—because his opinion of himself fluctuates with his ability to impress others. The greater our self-esteem, the less hurt we feel when someone is disrespectful.”
Uncontrolled anger has many unintended and negative consequences. It could cause you your job, your life, friendships, love, money, or your freedom. So before you let anger get the best of you, try to control it, and ask yourself if it’s worth it.
Sometimes, people with limited vocabularies will get into arguments with others. When they cannot express what they feel, or how they feel, it can lead to frustration, and their frustration can lead to anger, lashing out, and violence.
Our community, the black community, seems to have more of these incidents over trivial matters than other communities. Let’s confront this issue and try to come up with solutions. Before you “go off” on somebody, just ask yourself:
* Do you want to spend the rest of your life in jail because someone bumped into you, looked at you the wrong way, or said something to you that you didn’t like?
Can you control your anger?
Or, does your anger control you? © 2016
Samuel K
theblacksilentmajority (SM)
Two men are engaged in an argument. A drink is accidentally spilled. One man is so angry he takes out a gun and fires at the other man. He missed the other man, but the bullet struck the man’s young daughter. The daughter died. Was the argument so important a child had to die?
Two women were on a city bus. One woman made the mistake of bumping into the other woman. Seconds later, the woman who was bumped into stabbed to death the other woman. Two lives have been ruined over a bump. Was it worth it?
Regrettably, incidents like these two are not rare. They happen everyday.Too often, one person is all too willing to punch, stab, or shoot another person over things many people would ignore. It could be over a parking spot, a stare, a place in line, a perceived insult, or some other dumb stuff.
Psychiatrists have explanations for this type of behavior.
In the book, “Make Peace With Anyone,” David Lieberman, offered some important insights into anger. He wrote:
“When we do not get respect from others, we get angry because it hurts how we need to see ourselves. This disrupts our ability to feel in control. The emotional response to this loss of control is fear. The response to fear is anger. At the root of all negative emotions—envy, lust, jealousy, and anger—is fear.
“At the root of fear is low self-esteem. This is why angry people have low self-esteem. This is why they argue, are stubborn and don’t forgive. Anger makes us feel powerful. It gives us the illusion we are in control, free and independent. But in reality, it makes us lose control.”
“When someone is rude or embarrasses us--does anything that is disrespectful—if we have low self-esteem, it causes us to question our own self-worth and lash out with anger. This is why a person with low self-esteem is highly sensitive—because his opinion of himself fluctuates with his ability to impress others. The greater our self-esteem, the less hurt we feel when someone is disrespectful.”
Uncontrolled anger has many unintended and negative consequences. It could cause you your job, your life, friendships, love, money, or your freedom. So before you let anger get the best of you, try to control it, and ask yourself if it’s worth it.
Sometimes, people with limited vocabularies will get into arguments with others. When they cannot express what they feel, or how they feel, it can lead to frustration, and their frustration can lead to anger, lashing out, and violence.
Our community, the black community, seems to have more of these incidents over trivial matters than other communities. Let’s confront this issue and try to come up with solutions. Before you “go off” on somebody, just ask yourself:
* Do you want to spend the rest of your life in jail because someone bumped into you, looked at you the wrong way, or said something to you that you didn’t like?